omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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