Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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