Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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