i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize