the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize