Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize