I'm pants shitting drunk right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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