covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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