Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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