My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Randomize