I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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