This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize