he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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