her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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