hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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