I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize