I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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