So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
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Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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