you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
someone owes me an orgasm
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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