He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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