yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
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Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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