My Higher Power is John Stamos
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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