I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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