official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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