I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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