I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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