The best revenge is premature balding
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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