I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize