so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize