we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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