just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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