I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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