so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize