If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize