so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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