Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
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All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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