Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize