I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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