i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize