White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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