We won't sleep together?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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