it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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