Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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