A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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