I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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