I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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