Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize