is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize