My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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