Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize